Living Single Today

Single on Valentine’s Day? How to THRIVE not just SURVIVE the Heart Holiday

Written by Jackie M. Johnson | February 12, 2024
I have loved you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

It's Valentine's Day and you're single. No special someone for a romantic dinner for two. No chocolates, flowers, or gifts.

But just because you're uncoupled on February 14, don't let your relationship status lead you on a path of discouragement.

You may feel sad or lonely. And you may desire the love of a good man or woman. That's ok. Your feelings are valid.

But don't let one candy-infused, heart holiday hijack your hope.

You can choose to reframe how you view Valentine's Day—and see the love holiday through an entirely different lens. In doing so, you can find your way back to hope and joy.

A NEW PERSPECTIVE
You may have heard cynical singles mock Valentine's Day with snide remarks such as, "Who cares? It's just a Hallmark holiday anyway."

The truth is, this holiday has been around for thousands of years.

Originally called the Feast of St. Valentine, or St. Valentine's Day, it started as a Christian holiday honoring the martyrs of two different men of faith named Valentine who stood for their beliefs—Valentine of Rome in 269 and Valentine of Terni in 273.

But it wasn't until hundreds of years later, around the 1400s, that Valentine's Day became a celebration of romance.

Here's the thing, you don't have to just endure Valentine's Day. You can choose to enjoy it—with a new perspective.

Here are three great ways to thrive, not just survive, the heart holiday.

1. Celebrate different kinds of love.
Valentine's Day has traditionally been a celebration of love and romance for centuries.

But it doesn't have to be solely about romantic love. What about celebrating the many other kinds of love—like the love of friends, family, and others?

The word "LOVE," in the English language, is all-encompassing. For instance:

We love pizza.
We love our pets.
We love a beautiful sunset.

However, the Greek language defines different kinds of love in our lives.

Eros — romantic love, passionate love
Phileo — friendship love or brotherly love
Storge — strong bond of love and affection for family—protective love
Agape — unconditional, sacrificial love (as in God's love for us); selfless love

For example, you could choose to celebrate the love of friends like some women I know. These interesting and intelligent single women throw a party called "Galentine's Day" with food, fun, and fellowship with their female friends.

You may want to call a family member to say, "l love you." Or text a friend to let her know she is loved. You could even treat yourself to a special activity you enjoy to celebrate self-love. There are lots of options.

2. Enjoy the love you have, don't bemoan what you don't have.
Thankfulness leads to joy. So when you remember the love you already have in your life—and keep the focus off what you don't have—you're on your way to greater peace.

Think about your wonderful friends. Or, your family. Maybe your church group, sports group, or work friends are more like family to you while you're single.

And don't forget about the One who loves you most. The One who created you, and who thought you were a really good idea. God Almighty.

God loves you more than you know. He is always there. He never leaves. And God loves you unconditionally—flaws and all.

When we begin to grasp that wondrous love and let it transform us from the inside out, His amazing love changes how we see ourselves and how we treat others.

3. Choose joy now!
You don't need to have a significant other on your arm in order to be happy. Being single doesn't mean you are "less than."

Keep telling yourself the truth. You are enough just as you are. You are worth being loved well. And, you can choose to have peace despite your circumstances. Choose joy now.

Let's celebrate love of all kinds and find joy and contentment—on February 14 and all throughout the year.

Happy Valentine's Day, friend!

You are loved.