I often heard growing up that there was a list of things men should never do to keep their manliness intact. Some of the more popular ones were:
1. Real men don't cry.
2. Real men don't wear pink.
3. Real men don't eat quiche.
4. Real men don't let other men eat quiche.
While this man-made list was more of an attempt to bring some humor into the differences between the sexes, it also sheds light on the shallowness of true manhood in today's culture. Beyond the lists, prominent cultural norms uplift a message of manhood that significantly contradicts God's blueprint for being a "real man." Check out most sitcoms over the past few decades, and you will see what I mean.
Within the Master's design for humanity, He created two distinct genders in His image—male and female. From Genesis to numerous books of the New Testament, God provides a very defined explanation of what authentic manhood should look like. Trust me, none of the Scripture mentions quiche. However, God does touch upon the topic of men crying.
As a Christian, my man code needs to be determined by the Lord and not by the prevailing cultural norms of our day. Our Savior King, Jesus Christ — and God's Word — give us the absolute picture of what real manhood should look like. Here is a God-defined "Real Man" list that needs to drive my pursuit of being a real man of God:
1. Real men don't abandon their wives. See Ephesians 5:25-32, Mark 10:9, Job 31:1
2. Real men honor their wives as co-heirs. See 1 Peter 3:7
3. Real men teach their children God's ways (both in word and in action). See Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Ephesians 6:4, Psalm 78:5-7
4. Real men build into the lives of other men. See Proverbs 27:17
5. Real men don't use their words to demean others. See Ephesians 4:29
6. Real men don't let their anger get away from them. See James 1:19-20; Proverbs 14:29
7. Real men lead best when they love most. See Ephesians 5:1-2; John 13:34-35
8. Real men are sacrificial for the sake of their Lord, family, and others. See John 15:13; Ephesians 5:25
9. Real men are servants. See Mark 10:45
10. Real men can show their emotions (this includes crying). See John 11:35, Matthew 21:12, Matthew 9:36
While not exhaustive, this list of directives, based on God's word, provides me with a road map to becoming a real man of God. I also know that I will never get it all right. Yet, my life aim is to follow after the One who has. It is this simple. If I make my life about Jesus, He, in turn, makes me into the man He wants me to be.