Is my marriage all about me and my needs? Sadly, that's what our society teaches. The world heavily promotes self-love. Take care of you. Make sure you are happy. It may sound innocent, but it's not. Paul warned us about how people would be lovers of self in II Timothy 3:1-2a:
"But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self,"
As wives, our example of love should come from God, not the world. This means, our love should be self-giving and be for the good of our husbands. That is the type of love God has for us. And that is the same love that should be imitated by us, His children.
It's really easy to focus on what our husbands are not doing right. How they are inattentive, or uncaring. Usually when we don't feel loved, we fail to give love. Did God love us when we loved Him? Absolutely not! God loved us even though we hated Him and ran from Him. We are to show love to our husbands even when they are being unloving.
How are you showing love to your husband? Are you putting his needs and interests above your own? Are you seeking to please him in every way possible?
Here's how you can give your love to your husband. Imagine your husband is at a personal buffet just for him. He has all his favorite foods and can eat as much as he wants. But he doesn't. Why? He's full. He's totally satisfied. That's how your love should be given to your husband. He should be so full of your love, that he has no need of anything else. Look at what God says in Proverbs 5:18-20:
18
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
20
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
Your husband should be so intoxicated by your self-giving love that he has no need to look elsewhere. He's totally satisfied in his wife. This is not just talking sexually satisfied. He should be satisfied in how you treat him, talk to him, take care of him, and show interest in him. This type of love takes effort. It doesn't come easy. It's hard work, but so rewarding. Our love changes our focus from us to our husbands.
How can you focus on your husband more? One surprising and easy way I've focused more on my husband is by keeping a thankful journal for him. When I think of something I'm thankful for about my husband, I write it down. I now have a long list of wonderful things about my husband. I love looking it over from time-to-time. When I read the list that is ever-growing, it helps me to desire to love him more because I'm just so grateful for his love toward me!
You could also spend time doing something he enjoys. Maybe you can plan a special date or cook his favorite meal. Or perhaps you can get dressed just to greet him when he comes home from work. The more you give of yourself, the more love you will give to your husband. Glorify God in your marriage!
