By Sharon May, Ph.D. and Alan Hart
Adjusting to the changes in a family when a child gets married is often just as difficult for parents as it is for adult children. There is no textbook on how to balance between 'leaving' to establish one's own family while 'staying connected' to one's family of origin. The journey can place stress on the young couple's marriage and be a source of grief for the parents.
By Sharon May, Ph.D.
Couples in a stress-filled or difficult marriage are often working on repairing arguments and trying to use kinder ways to express their views, while couples in an emotionally destructive marriage hardly ever repair and instead live silently hurting and crushed. What is the difference between a difficult marriage and an emotionally destructive marriage? How do you know when your marriage has crossed the line and become emotionally destructive?
It is the end of the week. Finally, it's date night. Work can wait until Monday. Kids have a babysitter. It's you and your sweetie. Time to relax, talk, laugh and unwind together. Then it happens. An argument ruins the night.
What kind of marriage do you have? One filled with life stressors? Are you so different you wonder if you should be together? Always conflictual? Or disconnected living parallel lives?
We really do feel that if our spouse could hear our complaints, life would be so much better. So why is it hard for our husband, or wife, to hear our complaints?
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Sharon May, Ph.D. is the originator of the highly successful Safe Haven Marriage Intensives for couples and founder of the Safe Haven Relationship Center in Carlsbad, California. She is passionate about helping couples grow so they can love well and flourish in life. Sharon, together with Alan Hart, conducts Safe Haven 2-4 day private couple intensives, and the Safe Haven grow2gether group intensive seminars for couples. The intensives help couples get unstuck from their negative argument cycles, heal hurts and foster an emotionally connected marriage. A good marriage fosters a healthy family and positively impacts all areas of life. Sharon is author of "How to argue so your spouse will listen," and co-author with her father, Dr Archibald Hart, of "Safe Haven Marriage." Sharon and her husband, Mike, enjoy life with their 4 grown sons, daughter in-laws and amazing grandchildren. You can learn more or listen to Sharon and Alan's podcast on loving well at safehavenrelationshipcenter.com or email grow@havenofsafety.com.
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