<img height="1" width="1" style="display:none" src="https://www.facebook.com/tr?id=838528320191540&amp;ev=PageView&amp;noscript=1">
Donate

Latest Broadcast

Election 2024 - Dr. James Dobson Reflects on the Impact of Christians Going to the Polls, Part 1

Guest: Gary Bauer

Donate

February 8, 2017

Overcommitment and Lack of Priorities are Killing Your Marriage


There's nothing wrong with having a passion and a dream. It should, however, be kept in balance with other valuable components of your life—your family and your relationship with God being chief among them. 

Let me illustrate that need to keep the various components of our lives in perspective. I read an article in the Los Angeles Times about a man named J. R. Buffington. His goal in life was to produce lemons of record-breaking size from the tree in his backyard. He came up with a formula to do just that. He fertilized the tree with ashes from the fireplace, some rabbit-goat manure, a few rusty nails, and plenty of water. That spring, the scrawny little tree produced two gigantic lemons, one weighing over five pounds. But every other lemon on the tree was shriveled and misshapen. Mr. Buffington is still working on his formula. 

Isn't that the way it is in life? Great investments in a particular endeavor tend to rob others of their potential. I'd rather have a tree covered with juicy lemons than a record-breaking but freakish crop, wouldn't you? Balance is the word. It is the key to successful living and parenting. 

Husbands and wives who fill their lives with never-ending volumes of work are too exhausted to take walks together, to share their deeper feelings, to understand and meet each other's needs. This breathless pace predominates in millions of households, leaving every member of the family frazzled and irritable. Husbands are moonlighting to bring home more money. Wives are on their own busy career track. Their children are often ignored, and life goes speeding by in a deadly routine. Even some grandparents are too busy to keep the grandkids. I see this kind of overcommitment as the quickest route to the destruction of the family. And there simply must be a better way. 

Some friends of mine recently sold their house and moved into a smaller and less expensive place just so they could lower their payments and reduce the hours required in the workplace. That kind of downward mobility is almost unheard of today—it's almost un-American. But when we reach the end of our lives and we look back on the things that mattered most, those precious relationships with people we love will rank at the top of the list. 

If friends and family will be a treasure to us then, why not live like we believe it today? That may be the best advice I have ever given anyone—and the most difficult to implement. 

So keep your dream and your passion. Work hard to achieve the success you crave. But don't let it become a five-pound lemon that destroys the rest of your crop. You'll regret it if you do!

From Dr. Dobson's book, Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide.


Related Resources

Never Take Your Marriage For Granted 


What Do Your Kids See In Your Marriage?

The Quickest Route To The Destruction Of Your Family

Related Articles

  See More Articles

April 16, 2019

Women Want Closeness Before Intimacy

Question: Dr. Dobson, my wife will not respond to me sexually unless the circumstances ...

February 22, 2024

Improve Communication with Your Spouse

Under Mosaic Law, a newlywed husband had a specific responsibility to "cheer up his wife ...

January 19, 2017

How to Avoid Locking Horns with Your Spouse

My wife and I sometimes get into fights when neither of us really wants to argue. I'm not ...