By Dr. James Dobson
Question: Dr. Dobson, can you be more specific regarding the differences in sexual desire and preferences between males and females? Since I'm getting married next July, I would like to know how my future husband's need will differ from my own. Could you summarize the major distinctions that will occur between us?
I would like to offer some evidence to show that men and women are biologically unique. The women's movement, in its assault on traditional sex roles, has repeatedly asserted that males and females are identical except for the ability to bear children. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
By JT Waresak
As husbands and fathers, we need to go to battle for our wives and daughters by living on the front line with them and help them redefine beauty. With great intentionality, we need to daily communicate a much larger vision of what beauty really means.
By Rebecca Hagelin
As technology dominates communication, even within families, married couples have fewer natural opportunities to set a positive, truly romantic example for teens, young adults, and singles of all ages. Young people today simply don't get a peek at marital romance in ways that teens did in the past.
By Julie Clinton
Shaunti Feldhahn interviewed more than 1,000 men prior to writing her book For Women Only. Though it was no surprise that the interviews revealed that men desire more sex, what was surprising was why.
A recent statistic from Covenant Eyes indicated that 93% of boys will view online porn before they reach the age of 18 (62% for girls). While I could easily quote numerous studies that show the life-long destructive effects of porn on men and women, I don’t need to. I’ve personally witnessed enough marriages and families that have been ripped apart by pornography to know how damaging its effects can be. Yet, it doesn’t need to be this way.
Almost all husbands and wives experience conflict from time to time, which is not necessarily unhealthy to their relationships. A verbal spat that stays within reasonable limits can open the windows and give the couple a chance to vent frustrations and release some steam.
The best way of keeping a marriage healthy is to maintain a system of mutual accountability, with the context of love. Speaking personally, the secret of my beautiful relationship with Shirley has involved a careful protection of the "line of respect" between us. This is a difficult concept to convey and its function is different from one personality to another. Perhaps by explaining how it operates between Shirley and me, I can help the reader adapt the principle to his own circumstances.
I am nineteen years old, and I'm proud to say that I'm still a virgin. I plan to stay that way until I get married, even though it is difficult to control what I feel. Do you have any suggestions that will help people like me to be moral in a very immoral world? I mean, almost everyone I know is sleeping with somebody, and I don't want to do that. Still, I need help to do what is right. What do you suggest?
The Lord gave us the holy gift of physical intimacy as a means of expressing love between husband and wife. We are told that when a man and wife unite in marriage, they become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Solomon’s Song of Songs clearly celebrates sexual pleasure between married lovers. In today’s immoral culture, however...
From the discussion of the universal problem...fatigue and time pressure...what related concepts do wives most wish their husbands understood? It is my belief that feminine depression associated with the hustle and bustle of living could be reduced significantly if men comprehended and accepted the three ideas which follow:
Would you identify some of the major "marriage killers" that are most responsible for the high divorce rate that plagues today's families?
We have all heard it said that a woman is most beautiful when she is in love. It’s true. You’ve seen it yourself. When a woman knows that she is loved and loved deeply, she glows from the inside. This radiance stems from a heart that has had its deepest questions answered. “Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for? Have I been and will I continue to be romanced?” When these questions are answered, Yes, a restful, quiet spirit settles in a woman’s heart.
We live during an era that is attempting to redefine what the greatness of manhood looks like. Our boys and girls live in a state of gender confusion when it comes to the role distinctiveness between males and females. How then can a man pursue greatness within his manhood role if he fails to grasp what truly makes a man a man, or worse yet, he is constantly apologizing for his manliness?
A difficult day can quickly lead to an unnecessarily heated exchange between spouses. Fatigue, problems with the kids or job, illness, or financial worries can make anyone more susceptible to a fight. So can the condition I call "differing assumptions."
Husband, we’re speaking especially to you tonight. Just as selfishness is a sure marriage killer, an attitude of service and sacrifice–the “I’m Third” philosophy–is an indisputable marriage builder. We urge you to study your wife. What is it that speaks to her heart?
If sex is important in a marriage, and we all know that it is, then some time should be reserved for its expression. The day's working activities should end early in the evening, permitting a husband and wife to retire before exhausting themselves on endless chores and responsibilities. Remember this: whatever is put at the bottom of your priority list will probably be done inadequately. For too many families, sex languishes in last place.
Question: Dr. Dobson, my husband is somewhat insensitive to my needs, but I believe he is willing to do better if I can teach him how I am different from him. Can you help me communicate my needs to him effectively?
My daughter Kristin and I are laughing, crying, and reminiscing our way through the practical preparations for her upcoming wedding. She's marrying a wonderful young man, and my husband and I feel confident that these two young adults will create a strong family together; rich in faith, love, and commitment. So it was particularly sad for me to read a recent Slate article on Dutch women, who scorn marriage as a relic of times gone by. The article's author, NYU professor Katie Roiphe, wrote that she realized during a recent visit to Amsterdam that "having children and not being married was not a big deal…The Dutch attitude…is that marriage is not for everyone; it is a personal choice, an option, a pleasant possibility."
But there’s something you have to do if you are to create a healthier culture and build a grounded, courageous and fulfilled family. It’s one of the most important things you can do because it provides a steady force, a place of comfort for your children in a harsh world, and more joy for you than you could ever imagine.
Use Chrome? Here's the RSS extension
Additional Posts
The Voices of the Family Blogs
Read All Here
"What's Trending"
A Good Family Man in Today's World
Letting Go of Your Grown Child
5 "Man Lessons" Every Boy Needs to Know
Opinions presented in blog content on DrJamesDobson.org are solely those of the author. Blog content may only be reprinted or republished with the express written permission of the author and Family Talk.
All information presented on blog(s) is for entertainment purposes only. Neither the author nor Family Talk is providing medical, legal or other professional advice. You are reading and/or using blog content at your own risk. Please contact us if you have questions.