Many psychologists seem to feel that all anger should be ventilated or verbalized. They say it is emotionally and physically harmful to repress or withhold any intense feeling. Can you harmonize this scientific understanding with the scriptural commandment that "everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry? (Jas. 1:19).
Let me state the one thing of which I am absolutely certain: Truth is unity. In other words, when complete understanding is known about a given topic, then there will be no disagreement between science and the Bible. Therefore, when these two sources of knowledge appear to be in direct contradiction–as in the matter of anger–then there is either something wrong with our interpretation of Scripture or else the scientific premise is false. Under no circumstance, however, will the Bible be found to err. It was inspired by the Creator of the universe, and He does not make mistakes!
In regard to the psychological issues involved in the question, there is undoubtedly some validity to the current view that feelings of anger should not be encapsulated and internalized. When any powerful, negative emotion is forced from conscious thought while it is raging full strength, it has the potential of ripping and tearing us from within. The process by which we cram a strong feeling into the unconscious mind is called "repression," and it is psychologically hazardous. The pressure that it generates will usually appear elsewhere in the form of depression, anxiety, tension, or in a entire range of physical disorders.
On the other hand, it is my view that mental health workers have taken the above observation and carried it to ridiculous lengths. Professions of medicine, psychiatry, psychology, law, etc., go through fads and trends just like everything else involving human behavior. And for the past 10 years people working the helping sciences have been obsessed by the need to express anger and resentment. It has almost become the all-time bogeyman of emotional illness, producing some strange recommendations for patients. Some therapists now urge their counselees to curse and slam their fists down on a table, until the expression of anger begins to feel "natural." This same philosophy was evident in a sixth-grade "alternative" classroom where I saw this statement written on the blackboard: "Hatred is stored-up anger. Therefore, getting mad is a loving thing."
Another manifestation of this trend is seen in a popular book now available in the field of psychology which deals with "assertiveness training"–offering techniques for demanding and protecting one's rights. And finally, the women's liberation movement has spawned "consciousness raising groups" across America, which generate intense anger in response to the issues which women interpret as insulting to their gender.
In specific response to the question, we must harmonize the psychological finding that anger should be ventilated with the biblical commandment that we be "slow to become angry." Personally, I do not find these objectives to be in contradiction. God does not want us to repress our anger–sending it unresolved into the memory bank. Why else did the apostle Paul tell us to settle our irritations before sundown each day (see Eph. 4:26), effectively preventing an accumulation of seething hostility with the passage of time?
But how can intense negative feelings be resolved or ventilated without blasting away at the offender–an act which is specifically prohibited by the Scripture? Are there other ways of releasing pent-up emotions? Yes, including the following:
• By making the irritation a matter of prayer;
• By explaining our negative feelings to a mature and understanding third party who can advise and lead;
• By going to an offender and showing a spirit of love and forgiveness;
• By understanding that God often permits the most frustrating and agitating events to occur so as to teach us patience and help us grow;
• By realizing that no offense by another person could possibly equal our guilt before God, yet He has forgiven us; are we not obligated to show the same mercy to others?
These are just a few of the mechanisms and attitudes which act to neutralize a spirit of resentment.
From Dr. Dobson’s resource Emotions: Can You Trust Them? Request this resource HERE.