Make a conscious effort to put four new ingredients back into your lives, beginning with pleasure. You and your wife should go on a date at least once a week, leaving children at home. Likewise, some form of sports or recreational activity should be enjoyed as a family, whether it be tennis, golf, swimming, skiing, or another option.

Second, you should seek to keep the romantic fires aglow in your relationship, by the use of love notes and surprises and candlelight dinners and unexpected weekend trips, among other possibilities.

Third, you must reserve some of your time and energy for meaningful sexual activity. Tired bodies make for tired sex. The physical aspect of the relationship can be approached creatively, and indeed, must be.

Fourth, the most successful marriages are those where both husband and wife seek to build the self-esteem of the other. Ego needs can be met within the bonds of marriage, and nothing contributes more to closeness and stability than to convey respect for the personhood of the spouse.

From Dr. Dobson’s book 5 Essentials for Lifelong Intimacy