By Dr. Joshua Straub
1. You believe marriage is when life really begins. There’s a reason Hallmark movies always end at the wedding. We’re enamored with the pursuit of “being in love.” If they began on the wedding day, these movies would struggle for ratings.
2. You’re getting married just to get out from under your parent’s roof. I meet with many young people who live in dysfunctional homes and simply want out. I understand wanting to get out of dysfunctional relationships, but if the primary reason for getting married is because it’s your ticket out from under your parent’s roof, you’re likely doing nothing more than continuing the generational cycle under your own. Instead, seek wise counsel.
3. You’re not willing to be part of a community who supports your marriage. Just as I asked my cousin’s boyfriend at the time—who will you spend time with? Bad company corrupts good character (1 Cor. 15:33). Our culture today is not marriage-friendly, telling us if we no longer “feel” in love, it’s okay to look elsewhere.
4. You can’t yet maintain a job. If you’re not old enough to get a job, you’re too young to get married. Okay, so that’s a no-brainer. But I’m not talking about child labor laws on this one. I’m referring to you or your potential spouse’s ability—as a capable adult—to maintain a job that will support your family. If you’re too lazy or not responsible enough to hold down a job, you’re not ready for marriage.
5. You’re getting married only because you’re pregnant. Often, pressure from parents or friends to get married—usually to save face publically—makes this decision even worse. The last thing you want is to resent your decision because the marriage resulted from the pressure of others, not by your own desire. As both of you stay committed to becoming parents, take the time get to know each other and plug into community together (see #3).
Justice In The Home
Never Give Up
"Above All Else"
The Influence of Friends
From Mourning to Morning
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Connect With Dr. Joshua Straub
Joshua Straub, Ph.D. is an author, speaker, family advocate and professor of child psychology. He is the president and cofounder of The Connextion Group, a company designed to empower parents, spouses and families. Josh speaks and writes on emotionally safe parents and spouses and the influence of technology on today's family. He is the author of Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well and along with his wife, Christi, is the producer and co-author of the video curriculum The Screen-Balanced Family: Six Secrets to a More Connected Family in the 21st Century. For more encouragement and ideas on marriage and parenting in the 21st century you can join Josh and a growing tribe of awesome families at www.joshuastraub.com and follow him on Twitter @joshuastraub or Facebook.
Josh and his Canadian wife Christi reside in Nashville, TN with their son, Landon, and daughter, Kennedy.
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