By Dr. Meg Meeker
I have been involved in different ways with similar situations both professionally and personally and here’s how I have seen this reconciled. Your job as a Christian is to do two things: love God and love her. It’s that simple. You know that you love God and now your job is to simply love your daughter.
I have a list of women in my life whom I’ve dubbed my heroes. One is my sister who just got her master’s in counseling at age 50, another is a friend who started her own business to support her four children after her husband suffered a nervous breakdown and one is a medical colleague name Lori. I admire Lori because she is one gutsy mom.
By Dear Dr. Meg
I have a wonderful daughter who is 8 1/2 years old. She is also special needs. When she was 21 months old, I had her younger brother who passed away at 40 days old. When he passed away it brought me even closer to her (even though I didn't think it was possible to be any closer). Then, when she was 4.5 I had another son who passed away at 3 days old. Both my sons were on hospice care. After my youngest son passed away I have built a wall up between my daughter and myself. I don't want to allow myself to become too close/attached and lose her too.
Being a parent can often seem a daunting task. But I’m here to tell you that almost every parent has what it takes to raise healthy sons. You have the intuition, the heart, and, yes, the responsibility to change the life of your son for the better. This book is a step toward showing you how.
My daughter and son in law will be divorced in a couple of weeks. My daughter will have sole custody with supervised visits. The supervised visits will be with my husband and I.
My husband is obsessed with biking. Well, he’s obsessed with a lot of sports but riding and tinkering with bikes is at the top of his list. One afternoon, as I watched him repair his bike, I stared at the wheels and I noticed something. If someone were to take the tire off and then remove the aluminum wheel frame, the wheel wouldn’t work, but the basic components would still be in place. The spokes would still be aligned by the hub at the center. Without the tire and rim, the wheel would look like a perfectly symmetric spider.
I am so obsessive with his incomplete love for me. Deep in my heart I know he can never love me or care about me as much as he loves his wife and his kids. Can you please guide me in a direction for my unfortunate situation?
I have learned a few truths about parents and kids in my 30-year career as a pediatrician. One of the most profound is this: fathers are more important in their children’s lives than they will ever realize this side of heaven.
As a father, I’m sure there are things that you wish you knew about your children; so let me help you out. As a ‘professional’ listener of children for 30 years now, I have learned a lot about them. Your children want and need a lot from you but those needs and wants might surprise you. Let’s look at a few.
I lost my oldest son, 39 in November 2013 in a car crash. I am still grieving over his loss. It was he and I for years. His Dad and me divorced when he was a baby. A parent should not out live their child!
I am a mother of 4 kids. My two eldest are 16-year-old twins (girl/boy) and my twin son has essentially abandoned me. I am divorced from my children's father (3 years) and my 16-year-old son has been living with his father for 6-months now. He will not see me, always forgets dinner plans, etc. He has told me that I am crazy and all of his friends think so too.
The New Year is well underway and now that the novelty of having a fresh start has worn off, let us not forgot that in the eyes of our Lord, we have a new beginning opportunity every single day. So considering this, will you continue to join me on my venture to become a nicer person? We have talked about changing the way we talk and finding more restful time during the day by slicing hours with electronics away from our days, so let’s keep going.
I need suggestions on how to bond with my son. I tend to focus on the negative, and get highly annoyed by any little thing he does.
My daughter is 13 years old but does not show any emotion. She will not acknowledge when she does something wrong. How can I help her?
I know that many of you will be mad at this post so I ask you to dig deeply and ask what makes you mad. Is it because you disagree or because you know that what you want to see really does hurt women and children? Of course we have the right to see what we want and I don’t argue that. But we must always remember that our right to be entertained by certain things- like 50 Shades of Grey- may cost innocent people a lot of pain.
Is there hope for you? Absolutely. You are at the bottom of a dark pit now because you are experiencing the pain of the consequences that come from bad mistakes. Your story is one that would sit beautifully in the pages of the bible because the disciples, prophets and even God’s beloved David made many of the mistakes that you have.
Take a big deep breath. I understand what you are going through and it’s not easy! Battling depression and anxiety are hard enough but are especially challenging when you have two little ones underfoot. Here’s what I suggest you do.
Daniel Day’s new book, Ten Days Without is an extraordinary lesson in life, discomfort, love and change. If you need to shake up your life in order to get unstuck, read the book. You will never put your coat on the same way.
I’d like to invite you to make another simple change that I’m trying to make this year- turn my phone off for an hour a day. Actually, I’ve been doing this for a couple of weeks now and it’s so relaxing, I’m increasing the time to 2 hours.
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Connect With Dr. Meg Meeker
More Resources From Dr. Meg Meeker
Angry Women and Passive Men
5 Rules that Ruin Families
How To Change Your Man
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