By Dr. Meg Meeker
Dear Dr. Meg:
I'd be curious to know your opinion of my current situation. I have a brilliant, beautifully spirited 5-year old boy who is pretty strong-willed, as I am myself. We talk a lot about making good and bad decisions. At times, I find he makes bad decisions on purpose trying to get a reaction. It's breaking my heart for him to continue to be in trouble all the time.
We all put our faith in something, and we do so every single day. So the real question isn’t whether or not we should have faith. The more important question is what should we put our faith in, and why? And further, if faith is such an enormous part of our everyday experience, why don’t we pay any attention to it?
My question is - what advice might you have for me in trying to mend my relationship with my daughter? She has not been to confession in a long time, I am just praying that she goes... I feel also that the relationships between my wife and myself and the rest of the kids and myself are becoming strained because I am worrying so much about her.
Every mother needs connections with women on different levels, women who satisfy our longing for intimate emotional connection and others who provide us comfort and affection on a lighter level.
Dr. Meg. My 6, almost 7-year-old son has talked a few times to me about how boys can marry other boys and asks if he can marry his friends that are boys. I know at this point, he doesn't understand the dynamics of marriage, he just wants to marry a good friend but I’m not sure how to respond to the whole 'did you know that boys can marry other boys?' I’m not really sure the best way to address it, especially with his lack of understanding on the subject.
Your book, Strong Fathers Strong Daughters, has been an inspiration for me. As such I ask your help. I have been falsely accused of sexual molestation of my nine year old by my ex wife. While I pray this will work through quickly, how do I go about repairing the damage this accusation has brought to my family? My daughter and I have a very tight bond but this event is going to leave a scar.
Dear Dr. Meg
What are your thoughts on the HPV vaccine for girls and boys? If you agree with it, what age should it be administered? Thanks!! So confused!!!!
I am a mom of a 19 yr old, college student (soph). It was been tough, harder then I ever dreamed but no idea what to do. I have seen 2 counselors and totally useless. I never thought I would be in this place but....I have no one to talk to, feel alone and depressed and most of all, hardly no relationship with daughter any more. I know I was and am a good mom but know I am at an cross roads with her.
If you are like most American moms, you are far too critical of the job you’re doing. You want to get it right and you critique your performance daily. Kids don’t care if you’re thin or plump, they don’t care if you make brownies from scratch, from a box or if you buy them. They just want to eat the brownies with you. Understanding our value and then feeling good about the mother that we are is one of the toughest challenges we face.
My husband and I are having our first baby. I am an attorney, so maybe I research a little too much, but it is how I help calm my worries about parenting. I am an only child whose mom died when she was 10, so a part of me feels rather unprepared to be a mom... I truly respect you, and would be most grateful if you could point me to a book for infant care.
EVERY BOY NEEDS MORE ENCOURAGEMENT. He doesn’t need false praise. He doesn’t need pressure to perform better. What he needs is parental support as he matures through each developmental phase, physical and psychological, that all boys go through.
Mood is hard to quantify and even harder to express. But we do know that while the rates of depression among boys are higher than they were twenty or thirty years ago, boys experience depression at a far lower rate than girls do. And there is a suspicious parallel between the rise of depression amongst teens and the skyrocketing STDs.
Many parents have children who are really hard to spend time with. I know because I see these kids interact with their parents in my office. And- I get an earful from parents who have children of all ages who have serious problems like severe ADHD, bipolar mood disorder, oppositional- defiant disorder, personality disorders and different types of addictions.
After reading your response to the question on vaccinating I can't help but wonder as a Christian how we can be so 'pro vaccine' when many of the vaccines use aborted fetal tissues and many of the ingredients can be deadly.
I definitely want my son vaccinated after he is born. No, I didn't grow up where I saw people with polio or any of the other diseases. But I saw the effects of polio. My question is, do they have to get the vaccines all at once or is it ok to spread them out?
I did not have my girls get the HPV vaccine. Why should they? I would like to know why they should get a vaccine that our pediatrician said they would not need if they do not plan to be sexually active and wait for marriage. Under what circumstances do you recommend it?
Conversations between two friends are mysterious and complex. Unfortunately, many of us women make them more complex than need be. If we simply listened to the adage in Mark’s gospel about making our ‘Yes be Yes and our No be No’, we could free ourselves and our friends from much turmoil. Let’s practice doing just that.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention just released a report stating that as a country we’re making modest improvements in the obesity problems among our kids. The good news is that 19 states saw a decline in obesity while 3 saw and increase and the rest stayed stable. Their conclusion was that more research is needed to figure out why kids struggle with weight issues and what can be done about it. Of course, they will recommend community and school programs.
Every mother worries about failing her kids. We wonder what we will do if our kids turn against us, grow up to hate us or end up disliking their lives. These are natural worries but unfortunately these fears can drive us crazy.
Every child is born with a natural survival mechanism that causes him or her to be territorial. Mine is one of the cutest but most frustrating words any two-year-old chants repeatedly. As your daughter moves through her toddler years into her elementary school years and on into high school, she will probably go through some periods where she is more selfish, more territorial than others.
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More Resources From Dr. Meg Meeker
Angry Women and Passive Men
5 Rules that Ruin Families
How To Change Your Man
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