By Dr. Meg Meeker
Every mother worries about failing her kids. We wonder what we will do if our kids turn against us, grow up to hate us or end up disliking their lives. These are natural worries but unfortunately these fears can drive us crazy.
I have a list of women in my life whom I’ve dubbed my heroes. One is my sister who just got her master’s in counseling at age 50, another is a friend who started her own business to support her four children after her husband suffered a nervous breakdown and one is a medical colleague name Lori. I admire Lori because she is one gutsy mom.
Being a parent can often seem a daunting task. But I’m here to tell you that almost every parent has what it takes to raise healthy sons. You have the intuition, the heart, and, yes, the responsibility to change the life of your son for the better. This book is a step toward showing you how.
My husband is obsessed with biking. Well, he’s obsessed with a lot of sports but riding and tinkering with bikes is at the top of his list. One afternoon, as I watched him repair his bike, I stared at the wheels and I noticed something. If someone were to take the tire off and then remove the aluminum wheel frame, the wheel wouldn’t work, but the basic components would still be in place. The spokes would still be aligned by the hub at the center. Without the tire and rim, the wheel would look like a perfectly symmetric spider.
I have learned a few truths about parents and kids in my 30-year career as a pediatrician. One of the most profound is this: fathers are more important in their children’s lives than they will ever realize this side of heaven.
As a father, I’m sure there are things that you wish you knew about your children; so let me help you out. As a ‘professional’ listener of children for 30 years now, I have learned a lot about them. Your children want and need a lot from you but those needs and wants might surprise you. Let’s look at a few.
The New Year is well underway and now that the novelty of having a fresh start has worn off, let us not forgot that in the eyes of our Lord, we have a new beginning opportunity every single day. So considering this, will you continue to join me on my venture to become a nicer person? We have talked about changing the way we talk and finding more restful time during the day by slicing hours with electronics away from our days, so let’s keep going.
I know that many of you will be mad at this post so I ask you to dig deeply and ask what makes you mad. Is it because you disagree or because you know that what you want to see really does hurt women and children? Of course we have the right to see what we want and I don’t argue that. But we must always remember that our right to be entertained by certain things- like 50 Shades of Grey- may cost innocent people a lot of pain.
Daniel Day’s new book, Ten Days Without is an extraordinary lesson in life, discomfort, love and change. If you need to shake up your life in order to get unstuck, read the book. You will never put your coat on the same way.
Friends, I have a challenge for each of us. Let’s make 2015 our best family year ever! At Family Talk, we genuinely want you to enjoy being a parent and feel encouraged in your journey to be kinder, more deliberate and more confident in your parenting. Most of all, we want you become the parent that God wants you to be. And we’re here to help.
My husband, Brian, and I are on the same page about everything. Politics, music, food, we’ve ridden the same wavelength for more than a decade. Even when we were ambivalent about having a baby, I always knew he’d be an awesome dad, and the idea of him feeding a newborn a bottle or rough-housing with a little kid helped push me into the “we can do this” column.
Here’s the million-dollar question every conscientious parent asks at Christmas: How can I get my kids (and myself) to focus on the real meaning of Christmas? Well, if you are asking those questions, kudos to you. You’re off to a great start because you can only find answers to questions if you ask the questions.
By Meg Meeker, M.D.
Let me ask you, friends, “How did it go? You know- Thanksgiving?” What would you say? Could it be that many of you would answer, “Ugh, I’m so glad it’s over?” Or how about, “Next year, we’re definitely not including Uncle Jim- he’s out of control.”
Helping kids avoid sex is no longer a moral or religious issue; it is a medical one. If I didn’t believe that we can be effective in helping our kids delay their sexual debut, I would stay silent. But we can help. You can help.
With Social Media being so popular these days, anything you say can be viewed by millions of people in a matter of minutes. Parents are concerned about what their kids are seeing online, but they should also be concerned with what they themselves are posting online.
Allow me to let you in on a frightening secret about physicians. While we are in residency training to be specialists, we work horrific hours. A typical week includes eighty to ninety hours of work in the hospital, often more. Under pressure, we learn to do procedures quickly.
I know it sounds like an oxymoron to say that humility will make your daughter feel more significant, but here’s why it’s true. To fulfill her potential, your daughter needs to understand who she is, where she comes from, and where she’s going. And her understanding needs to be accurate.
One of the toughest aspects of being a hero to your daughter is not just deciding what is good and right for her, but also keeping her on track. Fathers can demand tremendous discipline from themselves, but they can find it much harder to stand firm with their children. Fathers get tired. Daughters can become defiant, manipulative, and wear their fathers down. This is where perseverance comes in.
Boys need strong relationships with their parents. Period. Every boy, without exception, wants a better relationship with his mother and his father because his physical and emotional survival depends on you.
Once again media reporters have successfully extracted information from one story and created a completely unrelated narrative for one reason: to pit one group of parents against another. Sorry, but I won’t bite.
Connect With Dr. Meg Meeker
Visit Dr. Meeker's Resource Page
Pediatrician, mother and best-selling author of six books, Dr. Meg Meeker is the country’s leading authority on parenting, teens and children’s health.
Dr. Meg writes with the know-how of a pediatrician and the big heart of a mother because she has spent the last 25 years practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine while also helping parents and teens to communicate more deeply about difficult topics such as sex, STDs and teen pregnancy. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her new groundbreaking book, The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers, Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity out from Ballantine Books. Visit Dr. Meg's Resource page.
Dr. Meg’s popularity as a speaker on key issues confronting American families has created a strong following on her blogs for Psychology Today. She has also spoken nationally on teen health issues, including personal appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and television programs. Additionally, Dr. Meg lends her voice to regular features in Physician Magazine and Psychologies (UK) and was a contributor to QUESTIONS KIDS ASK ABOUT SEX: Honest Answers for Every Age, The Complete Book of Baby and Child Care (Tyndale House Publishers) and High School Science text, Holt-Rhinehart and Winston, 2004.
Dr. Meg is presently re-certifying with the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics as well as the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute, Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Pediatrics and Human Development at Michigan State University; Munson Hospital Family Practice Residency Training Program 1998-present.
Dr. Meeker lives and works in Traverse City, MI where she shares a medical practice with her husband, Walter. They have four grown children.
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