By Dr. James Dobson
Question: My husband's parents are wonderful people, and we love them very much. They have always refrained from interfering in our family; that is, until our daughter was born. Now they're arguing with us about how we're raising her and are undermining the things we're trying to teach. We want to base Amy's upbringing on biblical principles, but not being Christians, my in-laws don't really understand this. How can we deal with this situation without offending them?
Question: I don't believe my parents went through this kind of anxiety when my sisters and I were young. We were all relatively happy, and none of us rebelled. Am I right in assuming that a good family life was easier to achieve in those days?
I understand that I can't diagnose my own son, but it would be helpful if you would list the kinds of behavior to look for in a child who may have ADD. You've described the condition in general terms, but what are the specific characteristics of someone who has this disorder?
Question: My children love to do things for themselves, but they make such messes that it's easier for me to do things for them. I just don't have the patience to see them fumble with stuff. Do you think I'm wrong to step in and do things for them?
Question: My wife works hard to teach my sons to respect me as their father, and that makes my job with them easier. Even when she is upset with me, she never lets the kids know about it. Don't you think that is generous of her?
Question: Don't you think home schooling might negatively impact the socialization process? I don't want my children growing up to be misfits.
Question: It just seems barbaric to cause pain to a defenseless child. Tell me why you think it is healthy to spank him or her.
I would have to say it is the inappropriate use of anger in attempting to manage boys and girls. It is one of the most ineffective methods of attempting to influence human beings (of all ages). Unfortunately, most adults rely primarily on their own emotional response to secure the cooperation of children.
If a young woman's father rejects her, she'll spend her life trying to find a man who can meet the needs he never fulfilled in her heart. If he's warm and nurturing, she'll look for a lover to equal him. If he thinks she's beautiful and feminine, she'll be inclined to see herself that way. But if he rejects her as unattractive and uninteresting, she's likely to carry self-image problems into her adult years.
Transplanted children have the same needs for guidance and discipline as those remaining with their biological parents. One of the surest ways to make them feel insecure is to treat them as though they are different, unusual, or brittle. If the parents view such a child as an unfortunate waif to be shielded, he will tend to see himself that way too.
While childhood trauma can impact the well-being of any maturing person, it does not have to necessarily define one's future. Dr. Dobson shares some very interesting facts around this subject as well as some examples of well-known individuals that overcame extremely distressing childhood years.
Dr. Dobson shares insights into how to talk to your non-Christian in-laws about their interactions with your children and your desire to raise them on biblical principles.
Sometimes we think too little of God's grand design for families. As parents we can over think the details and get lost within a sea of "parenting best-practices." As Dr. Dobson notes, parenting has been around since the beginning of time. We need to remember to not sweat the little things and focus on pouring common sense, God's love and God's truth into the hearts of our kids.
Dr. Dobson shares very practical tips from Dr. Renshaw's book The Hyperactive Child.
As a parent, it isn't always easy to discern when to let the baby cry or when to pick your child up and console him or her.
Is there a middle ground for a parent that wants to provide a foundation of discipline while not leaving out the loving emphasis as well?
Parents of strong-willed children must lead with strong love and establish their God-given authority. Children overwhelmingly respond to strict discipline that is carried out consistently and with love.
Dr. Dobson shares vital insights in what it takes to become the father every child needs to know. So much of it comes down to a willingness to say "no" to the lessor things in life in order to say "yes" to what truly matters most.
Our school psychologist said she thinks our son is suffering from childhood depression. My goodness! The kid is only nine years old. Is it reasonable that this could be his problem?
Let me get very specific with those of you who are single but wish not to be. (No insult is intended to those who are single by design and wish to remain unmarried. That is a legitimate choice which should be respected by friends and family alike.) I have listed 16 suggestions that will help you conform to the principles of loving toughness in matters of the heart.
Justice In The Home
Never Give Up
"Above All Else"
The Influence of Friends
From Mourning to Morning
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Connect With Dr. James Dobson
Dr. James Dobson is the Founder and President of Family Talk, a nonprofit organization that produces his radio program, “Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk.” He is the author of more than 30 books dedicated to the preservation of the family, including The New Dare to Discipline; Love for a Lifetime; Life on the Edge; Love Must Be Tough; The New Strong-Willed Child; When God Doesn’t Make Sense; Bringing Up Boys; Marriage Under Fire; Bringing Up Girls; and, most recently, Head Over Heels.
Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years and on the attending staff of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles for 17 years. He has been active in governmental affairs and has advised three U.S. presidents on family matters. He earned his Ph.D. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development. He holds 17 honorary doctoral degrees, and was inducted in 2008 into The National Radio Hall of Fame. Dr. Dobson recently received the “Great American Award” from The Awakening.
Dr. Dobson is married to Shirley and they have two grown children, Danae and Ryan, and two grandchildren. The Dobsons reside in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
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A Message To Husbands and Wives
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